Wow life is just throwing me all the opportunities right now. 'Ask and you shall receive.'

I have been asking for change, been hoping for manageable change, been getting BIG life changing change.

I know that it all is life changing change. But I don't know if I am ready for this.

The most recent is the job... I am done. I have been so frustrated and so worn down by this job that I am afraid that I don't have the energy to find something else right away. I have no idea what I want to do or what I am suited to do. I have been doing the same job for 12 years and it feels like that is all I am good for. I have worked in other industries and not liked them. I like the idea of working close to home, not being on the road. And not having a big commute. I even like retail. I like working with customers, enjoy the merchandising, even the warehousing aspect of the job was fun. I don't want to deal with the big corporation social politics anymore. Things just got so out of hand, it was like highschool only worse, cause back then the teachers had to tell you how you were doing.

So I have some options:

1. I can feel sorry for myself and wallow in it for a few weeks.

2. I can see this as an opportunity and get started living the life that I really want.

3.  I can get honest and find something to pay the bills and start working towards getting the life I want.

So here is what I am gonna do:

I have put out some feelers and might have another bit job lined up, I know it is not what I want to do but gotta pay the bills. I am going to explore some of my crafting stuff and see if it is a viable option for business. I will not let this get me down. I am better than this.

I was talking with my neighbor and he had no idea the situation was as bad as it was, makes me feel a little better. That I really have been keeping up that much of a front. I really want to get honest and live my true life. He also didn't know that I am a quilter and a creative thinker. It felt pretty good to do some showing off. I know that I am doing some really beautiful work, but sometimes you just need to hear it from someone else.

Things are only gonna get better for me. I can feel it this time. I realize that that stupid job was clutter in my life and now it is time to let it go. I feel so much more at peace today than I have felt for many years.

Maybe I am ready for this. (Turns page, starts new Chapter!)